Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Living the Dream
I confess, I have been a little down in the dumps when it comes to my horses recently. We have had soooo much grody, wet weather; and I have been so consumed with work, remodeling, Thanksgiving, etc. etc.
I think it boils down to the fact that I just generally hate this time of the year; period. I know there is obviously nothing I can do about it; it just is.
After working, there is little or no daylight left for me to ride. Or it is raining cats and dogs. Or, everything is muddy and messy. So I feel like all I do is feed the horses, and get a little bit of brushing done, and a few barn chores.
When I was instructing all the time, my students helped me out with a lot of the brushing and horse care things. Now that I am not teaching, I don't have that luxury.
So anyway, this past week before Thanksgiving, I was just completely down in the dumps about it. Every day, I found myself at the barn after work, feeding, mucking, blanketing, etc. etc. all by myself, in the dark, and cold rain, and mud, and I was just vexed about it.
"All I ever get to do is the work," I complained to myself while I wheeled yet another load of stall mess out to the ever growing muck pile. "I never get to do the fun parts - like riding!!!!"
"Is is EVER going to clear up so I can ride at least one day this week?"
And then when I discovered two broken fence rails in the paddock, I was really annoyed, and complained dome more.
"All I do is fix things and then you guys just break it again! Come on, guys. Can we NOT break anything tonight?"
And then it struck me; at some point, when I was trudging hay bales through the mud to a dry spot in the turnout paddock for my freshet two OTTTBs that are struggling with their weight.
This is what I have always wanted. This was my childhood dream. This is what I swore I would do if my parents just let me have a pony. This is it.
That realisation suddenly put it all into perspective for me. It's what I tell people - students; kids; all the time. If you get a horse, it is not all going to be frolicking in the meadow and going to horse shows and peaches and cream.
And I realised how spoiled I have become; yeah, spoiled. Me. Here I am, with this palatial 6 stall barn from heaven, straight out of a horse magazine. I have a kitchen in my barn nicer than the one in my house, for Pete's sake. I have everything I ever wanted in a barn. And I am complaining?!
Ever since I first took a hunter jumper lesson on a 17 hand OTTTB when I was 15, I was hooked on TBs, and dreamed of getting one one day for my own. Yes, I had horses all my life; mostly QH schooling horses as I was an instructor and needed steady ones. But I always put off getting my dream gelding - off the track - young - training him myself - and now I have FOUR?! (I have four otttbs. I have 12 horses all together.) And more if I want them? And I am complaining?!
So I am ashamed of myself. I am resolved to stop my complaining. I may hate this time of year and not be able to ride as much a I would like to; but I am going to stop complaining about it.
OH and the photo above? That's me at 8 years old, next to the first horse I ever loved, Red's, mom Cookie. This was before braces. (LOL) This was when I started my love affair with horses and dreaming this dream that I am now living.....