Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Living the Dream


I confess, I have been a little down in the dumps when it comes to my horses recently. We have had soooo much grody, wet weather; and I have been so consumed with work, remodeling, Thanksgiving, etc. etc.

I think it boils down to the fact that I just generally hate this time of the year; period. I know there is obviously nothing I can do about it; it just is.

After working, there is little or no daylight left for me to ride. Or it is raining cats and dogs. Or, everything is muddy and messy. So I feel like all I do is feed the horses, and get a little bit of brushing done, and a few barn chores.
When I was instructing all the time, my students helped me out with a lot of the brushing and horse care things. Now that I am not teaching, I don't have that luxury.

So anyway, this past week before Thanksgiving, I was just completely down in the dumps about it. Every day, I found myself at the barn after work, feeding, mucking, blanketing, etc. etc. all by myself, in the dark, and cold rain, and mud, and I was just vexed about it.

"All I ever get to do is the work," I complained to myself while I wheeled yet another load of stall mess out to the ever growing muck pile. "I never get to do the fun parts - like riding!!!!"
"Is is EVER going to clear up so I can ride at least one day this week?"

And then when I discovered two broken fence rails in the paddock, I was really annoyed, and complained dome more.
"All I do is fix things and then you guys just break it again! Come on, guys. Can we NOT break anything tonight?"

And then it struck me; at some point, when I was trudging hay bales through the mud to a dry spot in the turnout paddock for my freshet two OTTTBs that are struggling with their weight.

This is what I have always wanted. This was my childhood dream. This is what I swore I would do if my parents just let me have a pony. This is it.

That realisation suddenly put it all into perspective for me. It's what I tell people - students; kids; all the time. If you get a horse, it is not all going to be frolicking in the meadow and going to horse shows and peaches and cream.

And I realised how spoiled I have become; yeah, spoiled. Me. Here I am, with this palatial 6 stall barn from heaven, straight out of a horse magazine. I have a kitchen in my barn nicer than the one in my house, for Pete's sake. I have everything I ever wanted in a barn. And I am complaining?!

Ever since I first took a hunter jumper lesson on a 17 hand OTTTB when I was 15, I was hooked on TBs, and dreamed of getting one one day for my own. Yes, I had horses all my life; mostly QH schooling horses as I was an instructor and needed steady ones. But I always put off getting my dream gelding - off the track - young - training him myself - and now I have FOUR?! (I have four otttbs. I have 12 horses all together.) And more if I want them? And I am complaining?!

So I am ashamed of myself. I am resolved to stop my complaining. I may hate this time of year and not be able to ride as much a I would like to; but I am going to stop complaining about it.

OH and the photo above? That's me at 8 years old, next to the first horse I ever loved, Red's, mom Cookie. This was before braces. (LOL) This was when I started my love affair with horses and dreaming this dream that I am now living.....
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  1. Hosanna - Good for you for taking the time to stop and see the beauty of what you have. So many people miss it all. That takes a lot of strength, I think, to see and value the good amid all the "mud". I too sometimes question what I am doing - I only have two, but I struggle with my time with them and my time with Maizie. I have made it a priority to fit in some sort of ride or grooming or grazing session with a horse every day. I now do it first before the chores. That way I "pay" myself. It has made all the difference. I am closer to them and closer to the frolicking. The mucking and bucket scrubbing is always easier after I have had my time breathing in their breath.

  2. How easy it is to take for granted the wonderful gifts God has given us. One of the things teaching lessons has taught me is to really appreciate the horses while I have them. Though I don't feel like owning horses is a big deal anymore, it truly is, and I bet any one of my students would trade places with me in a heartbeat!